Fancy cars are all very well, but traffic jams are no fun

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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I was a spectator at my first school prom last week.

Wow, the sparkle, the glitz, the glamour but, most of all, the vehicles.

Prom-goers were arriving in vintage buses, on Harley Davidsons, on a gun (yes, seriously, a gun) and a variety of marvellous-looking cars.

Thing is though, the queue to be seen getting out of, or descending from on top of, each fancy vehicle was so extraordinary long, I should think a goodly portion of the evening was lost while they waited in line to make their entrance.

If it was me, I’d like to think that I’d scooter in (as I can’t rollerskate) or even penny board (how hard can it be?).

Fancy cars are all very well.

But, let’s face it, traffic jams are not.