Fitness tests? I think I’d fail a basic one for homeowners

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It seems that some of our soldiers have become too fat to fight.

National newspapers have reported that many thousands in the army have failed a basic fitness test over the past three years due in part to eating a poor diet of cooked breakfasts and too many portions of chips.

Crikey, imagine having to be subjected to a yearly fitness test.

I think I’d fail a basic homeowner one as I often get puffed at the top of the stairs (in my defence, we do have a lot).

The obstacle course that involves manoeuvring the Hoover around the sofa and the armchairs can also be daunting.

And as for painting my toe nails when I am sporting this belly?

Well, that’s a battle in itself.