Forget Dexter, we really need to settle on new dog names

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STEVE CANAVAN: The case of the 'kitchen' door is open and shut

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Please people, stop naming your dogs Dexter.

It’s driving me mad as my family, like pretty much every other one on the south coast, cunningly chose to name our dog after said fictionalised serial killer and now it’s getting plain embarrassing down at the beach.

The problem is that if you yell out Dexter, or a derivative of it, hundreds of dogs come a-running.

We need to settle on a new name for 2014.

I’m advocating either Sherlock (would work well for a dog with flappy ears) or Moriarty (for the humour-lovers out there who think they’re being really cerebral when in fact they’re being as samey as me).

And in the meantime, pity the poor child who ends up Dexterised. Please don’t do that either.