Get off your futtocks and make a cuppa

Zella is taking the war on plastic into her own hands

ZELLA COMPTON: We don’t have time to wait for the government to take action on plastic

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Oh Futtocks!’ was the title of the e-mail sent to me this week by the delightful Melissa Gerbaldi, press officer at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard.

‘Oh my’, I murmured, adding: ‘Who’s upset the rather refined Ms Gerbaldi?’

Well folks, Melissa’s not upset. In fact she’s very excited about a new range of merchandise on sale in The National Museum of the Royal Navy (NMRN).

The range, which includes t-shirts, mugs, pens and magnets, will bear nautical words that have fallen out of use.

The term ‘futtocks’ is used to describe the curved timbers used to form the interior ribs of a wooden ship.

Giving ‘futtocks’ a new modern twist, the designs include ‘get off your futtocks and make me a cuppa’ and ‘have you seen such a magnificent pair of futtocks?’ Great fun.