Everyone loves a good nativity play.
There’s not a lot cuter than toddlers draped in tea towels and sequin fabric, clutching dolls and some stuffed lambs (often upside down).
My playgroup nativity was the beginning of my acting career, when at the age of four I was chosen to play the role of Mary.
I wasn’t overly keen on having to hold Joseph’s hand, but I soldiered on and managed to remember all my lines, plus the words to Little Donkey.
Unfortunately my nativity acting career declined rapidly as soon as I entered primary school.
In year 1 I was demoted to star. Not THE star, just A star.
In year 2 all the girls were supposed to be angels, but it was soon discovered that there were not sufficient angel costumes to go round.
Gallantly I agreed to be a shepherd, on the understanding that I got to hold the lamb and present it to Mary and Joseph.
A pretty good deal but still not back up to the dizzy heights of playing Mary.
I’m sorry to say I never again returned to those glory days.
Jez: Recently many kids will have taken part in their school nativity plays. I remember being lucky enough to have a starring role, as I was picked to be evil King Herod.
I think they picked me because I was tall and overweight and when I sat on the throne I looked like a fella who had spent years over-indulging.
I had very few lines to learn and had two slaves fanning me down. It really was a great gig and why I didn’t win a BAFTA is beyond me!
As a parent you can’t help but get really excited at the thought of your kids getting the star role.
Last year my seven-year-old daughter was chosen to be Angel Gabriel.
I was very amused at the thought of my daughter behaving in an angelic way – the irony of this was hilarious.
Sadly my son has never been given a starring lead role. He used to always get given one of the shepherds.
One of my mate’s sons was told he was playing a lobster in the nativity.
My friend was furious. I mean, how do you make a lobster outfit?