Glad rags and groceries aren’t a match made in checkout heaven

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Figures show that sales of supermarket clothes have grown at more than double the rate of mainstream fashion chains over the past year.

Now I don’t know about you, but there are a couple of things I’m still not keen on when I buy my clothes in a supermarket.

For one thing, I don’t like the idea of using a changing room in a supermarket. Presumably you have to leave your trolley outside, and you never know what might happen to it, but there’s also the idea of stripping off in a place where there’s food.

It seems a bit unhygienic. Plus with all those freezer cabinets around, you can get a bit cold.

There’s also the act of having to pay for your clothes at the checkout with your groceries.

It just doesn’t feel right having your new jeans or shirt draped over packets of fish fingers or bags of oven chips on the conveyor belt.

While we are on the subject, you know how in the aisles of supermarkets they have sign boards hanging from the ceiling telling you where stuff is?

Well, usually they have two items on these signs that are kind of related, like ‘cheese and milk’ or ‘bread and baking ingredients’.

Well, my mate went into one supermarket the other day and on one of these signs were the two most non-linked items he’d ever seen. One was ‘dog food’, and the other was ‘light bulbs’.

Try as he might, he couldn’t think of a reason why they would be stacked next to each other.

Another mystery is why it is so hard to buy an anniversary card for your partner if you’re not married?

Give it a go. Nip to the post office or card shop and you’ll find loads of cards saying Happy Wedding Anniversary or Happy Anniversary to my Darling Wife or Husband.

But cards for a partner are as rare as rocking horse poo. I don’t know why the government is worried that too many couples aren’t married. Judging by the numbers of anniversary cards around, 99 per cent of couples in the country have tied the knot!