Glamorous? They couldn’t be more wrong about my life

Romantic - Saddam Hussein

CLIVE SMITH: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn about Valentine’s Day

Have your say

People often ask me about my work. They wrongly assume I’m in a glamorous industry and that my days are filled with red carpet events and premieres, rubbing shoulders with famous people and drinking Champagne.

They couldn’t be more wrong, but it doesn’t matter how many times I tell people, they still walk away thinking I live the life of Riley.

Well, at least my neighbours no longer think that of me (if they even did to begin with, which considering I look like Worzel Gummidge most of the time, I doubt).

I’ve been asked to produce another TV programme on Prince William and Kate and their baby.

The one we made recently for Channel Five was a huge success, so we’ve been re-commissioned to make one with worldwide distribution.

Fabulous news. Now, the difference between this one and the last one is, well, me. I’m going to be in it more.

It was genuinely not my choice (not that I mind of course) but the director has asked me to anchor the show and do the voiceover as well as produce it.

‘Great, bring it on,’ I thought. Until this week when I was told they needed a promo trailer for the show really quickly and could I voice a small segment of the script and send it over.

The director suggested recording this on my iPhone. But it sounded as if I was talking in the bath and, even for a trailer, it was just not good enough.

So I resorted to recording it on Garage Band, software available on Mac computers. I remember when I was working on a promotional DVD for a housing group a few years ago, they shoved me inside a cupboard and put a blanket over my head as I recorded the voiceover.

The idea was to try to muffle the background noise, so I decided to be inventive and mimic this.

So there I am, sitting in my home office in direct eyeline of next door’s bedroom. I threw my dressing gown over my head and leaned into the computer to start reading the script. It was muggy so the window was open.

When I emerged, the Polish family of three – mum, dad and their little girl – were all staring at me from their window.