We sent her off to the stripper,’ giggled my girlie pal Melody, looking radiant in her cream dress and tartan rosette and sash.
Last Friday the ‘her’ they’d just sent off to the dance hall in the sky was Melody’s mum, Edith Frost.
Don’t know the name folks? Well, what about Scottie?
Hundreds of Pompey folk and probably thousands of visitors to Southsea would remember Scottie.
In the heyday of South Parade Pier, the ‘70s and ‘80s, Scottie was part of the fixtures.
Steve Kingsley would spin the vinyl and Scottie would sell the raffle tickets.
I had Red Tubs Guest House at the time and used to go with my guests to a packed pier. There would be Scottie, laughing and joking with everyone.
OK Portsmuthians, admit it, how many of you used to do the row boat song on the pier?
Mr Kingsley knew that as soon as he put on Oops Upside Your Head, dozens of locals and visitors would race to the floor and sit in lines to do the row boat routine.
Except Miss James who, back then, used to wear a white, fully fringed, Charleston dress.
I’d race to the floor, then spread out a black dustbin bag. Always the diva dear, I wasn’t going to get my botty grubby on that floor.
Hopefully Melody’s mum is now with my Scots gran, also called Scottie, on their cosmic cloud enjoying a wee dram together.
And finally...just call me Queen Canute dear.
Last Saturday I was sashaying down the middle of the new Palmerston Road precinct when a silver BMW came towards me.
Did I move out the way? I don’t think so.
Up went the hand in a halt position – just like King Canute with the waves – and I said: ‘No, this is a pedestrian precinct...back up.’
And he did.
I’ve heard a whisper that traffic wardens are patrolling there, but can only do something about those cars that are illegally parked.
I say no more.