Goodbye to nightclubs - it's time for trendy bars instead

I can't say I'm particularly upset by the demise of the nightclub.

Thursday, 15th September 2016, 6:01 am
Updated Tuesday, 4th October 2016, 1:59 pm
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins

They became a talking point recently after the closure of a large club in London called Fabric. Its licence was revoked after two teenagers died of suspected drug overdoses.

Many have since spoken about how the nightclub industry seems to be on the wane.

Portsmouth was once flooded with them, now it’s just the chains Tiger Tiger and Liquid.

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I’m not sure I liked nightclubs even when I was in my 20s. Yes, I was always excited by the prospect of going to one, who I would see and, hopefully, who I would ‘pull’!

I’d even DJ at many and get paid handsomely for doing so. I wasn’t the resident jock, but a ‘special guest’ as the breakfast presenter at Power FM at the time.

For me, the best part of the night was meeting up at a pub or bar beforehand. A couple of drinks and having a laugh with your mates.

By the time you got to the nightclub, you were probably well-oiled already and then the night would go downhill.

Walking around aimlessly, shouting at the top of your voice to be heard, only for your own eardrums to be perforated by the person shouting back at you.

You had to have your ear right by their mouth just to hear them scream ‘it’s your round’.

Then there was the endless queue, with people pushing in, others barging past and drinks being spilt. Tempers frayed and arguments started.

I feel that, apart from the naff decor and the bad smell, music is also to blame for the demise of the nightclub.

Back in the ’80s and ’90s, mainstream music was played in clubs. But slowly they have become more dance specialist.

Not everyone is into dance or wants to watch some famous DJ play records and pay £20 for the privilege.

So bring on the trendy bar, where you can have a conversation in a relaxed atmosphere and consign the old cattle markets to history.

We’ll always have fond memories of Fifth Avenue or Ritzy’s because they were part of our youth.

But let’s be honest, they weren’t really that good, were they?


What a hullabaloo over the Great British Bake Off moving from BBC1 to Channel 4.

Since transferring from BBC2, GBBO has seen its audience rise to an incredible 14 million.

But Aunty Beeb wasn’t being held to ransom by Love Productions, who reportedly wanted £75m to stay on BBC1.

So why the upset? Well on BBC1 GBBO runs for 58 minutes. On Channel 4 it will be 43 minutes with adverts.

And is there the available audience? C4’s top show Gogglebox gets four million viewers. Hmmm.

Presenters Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc have now announced they are to quit when GBBO moves and Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood may yet follow suit.

Going to C4 is looking more and more like a bad move.


It took 30 years for it to happen, but on Sunday I finally got to see The Cure live.

Wow, it was well worth the wait!

I was 13 when I started getting into them. As a spotty, shy pubescent, the enigmatic Robert Smith, with his long, backcombed hair and badly-applied make-up, appealed to me.

It was cool to look different and to be quiet and thoughtful.

The rain fell all day Saturday and the Bestival festival site was a mudbath.

Wellies on, we found our way to near the front.

Smith has hardly changed. He still has that awkward demeanour I love.

Hit after hit and many a forgotten album track later, I was a happy, but rather muddy, man.