Harry would make a great guard

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So Prince Harry’s announced that he’s quitting the army and looking for a new job. Well, I’ve got a suggestion for potential employment: royal security guard.

Last year there was a row because royal security didn’t recognise Prince Andrew. Well if Harry worked as a royal security guard that would never happen.

He knows all the royals – probably because they are his family!

He knows all the royals – probably because they are his family!

Plus, with his knowledge of heavy drinking, Harry would easily be able to spot the kind of drunks who go too far and are likely to lunge dangerously at members of the Royal Family on walkabouts.

Can anyone tell me why peas are pretty much never a topping on pizzas? They add colour, they’re the right kind of size for a pizza topping and all that cheese means they’re not going to be able to roll off like they would on most other dishes.

They even sound like they were meant to be on pizzas. Peas and pizzas go together so well.

Come on pizza people, how about peas on pizzas please?

A new phenomenon is taking over the nations nightclubs with young women having a night on the tiles with their mothers in tow.

According to a new survey young women are increasingly choosing to socialise with their mothers in bars, restaurants, at concerts and even in nightclubs.

One in four women said they went clubbing with their mothers, more than a third invited them to social events with friends and one in three went to concerts together.

Now, although going clubbing with your mum sounds a good idea, it isn’t.

If you pull a really nice guy, he’s immediately going to be able to work out what you’re going to look like in 25 years’ time, which might put him off a long-term relationship with you.

Most importantly, going clubbing with your mother is a bad idea because…SHE’S YOUR MOTHER! Are you insane?