He bought a new toaster, but it can’t handle regular bread

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The reason you should always shop for a toaster yourself is . . . because not all toasters have the capacity to fit slices of bread in them.

In a surprise move by my husband, he volunteered to take up the quest for a toaster when our latest one died.

He returned triumphantly with a four-slicer, effectively increasing our toast output by 100 per cent.

There were controls to make it burn the right colour and some cunning little buttons completed the look – though what anyone uses them for has passed me by.

But woe of woes, when placed on the counter not only was it bright white, it also couldn’t handle regular bread. The slots are too short for a standard-sliced loaf. Not the best thing for a toaster really.