He caused his own demise by being so irresponsible

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If you throw stones at a bees’ nest, you can expect an angry mob of bees to be chasing you down the street.

As you plaster your stings with Germolene cream afterwards, you should expect little sympathy.

I could understand if it had made land and starting chasing people around the Wal-Mart car park

Likewise, if you deliberately jump into a marina where a giant alligator has recently been seen, you should be expecting something to take a chomp out of you, or worse.

This is what happened to 28-year-old Texas man Tommie Woodward, who reportedly ignored warning signs about not swimming in the bayou and even shouted ‘**** the alligators’ before jumping in late one night.

I read somewhere that he apparently ‘mocked’ the alligator before his leap into the water.

I’m not sure that’s why the alligator had him for dinner.

I very much doubt waving a crocodile skin Dolce and Gabbana handbag from the bank would stir the feisty reptile into action, but offering yourself up on a platter definitely would.

In my opinion, to ignore the warning signs and the pleas of your friends to go and swim a couple of lengths with snappy, well he got exactly what he deserved.

He caused his own demise by being irresponsible and I have zero sympathy for him.

But it seems the locals were none too happy with the turn of events and swapped their banjos for rifles and killed the poor beast.

What did the alligator do to deserve that?

I could understand if it had made land and starting chasing people around the Wal-Mart car park.

Then it would be a danger to innocent people going about their business and shooting it could be justified on safety grounds.

But it didn’t.

The alligator, a predatory and territorial beast, was just being an alligator; the man who jumped into the water near him was just being stupid.

Next time I go to Longleat and one of those monkeys jumps on my car and bends my aerial, I tell you I won’t rest until the fiend is stuffed and used as an umbrella stand in my porch.