Helen Mirren wears what she wants '“ and so do I '“ Lesley Keating

 I imagine you're now wondering what on earth she'd possibly done to incur the wrath and venom of the fashion police! 

Had she perhaps exposed her thong, or worn a micro skirt and a sequinned boob tube to the supermarket? 

No. Helen's monstrous gaff was wearing a trendy black leather backpack.

'˜It's a no-no for anyone over the age of 19,' screamed a fashionista report

Firstly, it's no-one else's business but Helen's if she wishes to '˜break the rules' with a backpack. I think it looked amazing, in fact, I've actually got a similar one myself. 

And I'm very much the wrong side of 19 too '“ go on, arrest me now.  How very dare I!

While we're at it, I have more confessions'¦ so look away if you are easily offended or ageist. 

I am 58-years-old'¦ and I still wear a bikini on the beach! There, I've said it. 

I grew up in an era where many of today's fashion staples made their first appearance.

But I enjoy clothes '“ I wear what I like and don't give one jot if some self-righteous twit says that after 35, I should've succumbed to a one-piece bathing suit.

I'm sure they're great if you're Joan Collins on the deck of a yacht in St Tropez, resplendent in gigantic shades and a floppy hat.  But she's over 80 now and I prefer to get some all-over sun.

I also buy clothes from all sorts of different stores, including those considered the stronghold of the young such as Topshop, where I often buy bikinis. 

Sorry but I'm nowhere near ready for beige, shapeless and '˜sensible' clothes or what my Auntie used to call '˜slacks'. I doubt I ever will be.

And I'm pretty confident Helen isn't either. So, Helen, keep on wearing whatever you like. 

To hell with the '˜rules'.

 

Who wants their personal business read aloud? Not me

I was in the doctor's waiting room the other day. All those waiting were very quiet apart from the odd sniffle or cough. However, the receptionist was very loud indeed. 

Every person who came in had their business discussed loud enough for those waiting to hear. During the time I was there, I learned most of the other patients' names, who they were seeing and for what. 

I also learned that one was waiting on a report from a gastroenterologist, one lady's letter from her previous doctor was in French and another had been given the wrong prescription in the pharmacy. 

These are public places but shouldn't there be just a little more privacy available?'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹'‹

 

I think some people need to revisit their Highway Code

Dear motorists, have you ever wondered what those funny little yellow criss-crossed lines on the road at random junctions are for? 

Do you think they're maybe for decoration? After all, yellow is very in right now and they do brighten up the road surface a bit. 

Well, those funny little things are actually box junctions '“ who'd have thought it!

They're usually found where congestion is likely and right of way is ambiguous. The general idea is that you wait and don't enter the box unless you can drive straight out again. 

Maybe its time to treat yourself to an exciting book. You'll love it. It's called The Highway Code.