Help – I am being tormented by bullies at my new job: Advice column

Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine advises a woman

Q Since starting a new job eight months ago, I have been bullied and tormented continually by a couple of people in my department.

It's often only quick comments about small things, the clothes I am wearing, my make-up, something I say or do in the office – but they are always negative. If they organise a lunch or after-work get-together, I am never invited.

It is really getting me down.

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A If this is causing you stress and affecting your performance at work, it is NOT trivial. Companies have a duty of care when it comes to the welfare of their employees. Most will have a grievance procedure in place.

Make a start by getting a copy of it and keeping a detailed record of what is said and done, by whom and when.

When you feel that your incident log is detailed enough, meet with your boss and explain what has been happening.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It may not be easy, but it could hardly be worse than your current torment.

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Q My 20-year-old grandson lives with me at the moment and I am ashamed to say that he drinks and drives.

His parents and I have told him many times not to, but he just won't listen.

I'm frightened that any day now he will either kill himself or some innocent bystander.

I threatened to report him to the police, but in fact I'm hesitant to do this because I don't know how that will affect his life.

What should I do?

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A I'm so sorry your grandson's put you in this awful position, but how do you think you would feel if he was involved in a road accident?

And how much worse if, because of his drink-driving, he or someone else was killed or injured?

Any anxiety you feel about reporting him to the police would feel like nothing compared to the way you'd feel if you'd done nothing to prevent this.

Telling the police may seem a hard thing to do – and it is – but not telling them could be worse.