I am resisting the urge to go off on an oily exploration

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STEVE CANAVAN: The case of the 'kitchen' door is open and shut

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Goodness me, the cost of oil is permeating into every corner of my life.

So we all know the obvious one about cars and pricing, but now it is affecting my decorating. Yep, oil is in paint which means the prices have risen astronomically and – get this – it’s pushed the cost of carpet up as well. Seriously.

Half of me wants to investigate other oily ramifications and the other half is crying out: ‘Don’t be such a saddo nerd’.

The desire to know everything about everything has become stronger the older I get. Sadly, my memory is a tad oily and none of my knowledge ever sticks.

Which makes me useless in pub quizzes on a long term basis and annoying in pub conversations on a short term one. Sigh, I can never win.