I believe that some of the things that happen could only happen to me.
This week was certainly one of those moments. Let me explain. For the past year I’ve had a brace aligner in my mouth, one of those ones that is clear plastic.
Every couple of weeks you have to replace it with a different one, which moves the teeth until they’re how you want them – completely straight.
Mine was only supposed to be in for 12 weeks, but for various reasons almost a year later I still haven’t finished with it all.
However, I only had two more braces to go when, while working at Sky News, I accidentally chucked it in the bin.
I wasn’t going to put a bit of plastic in my mouth after it had been lodged in the sewage pipe of our downstairs toilet!
It didn’t matter hugely because it was on the day where I was going to swap it for the next one anyway, so I didn’t bother too much.
On Saturday I changed to my new brace – supposedly the last one I’d ever need to wear. But on Wednesday evening, things went terribly wrong.
Having come in from having dinner round my dad’s, I had put my brace on the side wrapped in tissue. I went upstairs to clean my teeth and was gone three minutes tops. When I went back downstairs to retrieve said brace, it was gone.
I asked my other half Matt what he’d done with the tissue that was left on the side and he replied: ‘I flushed it down the loo’. He even gave me a disapproving look for not cleaning up after myself!
Well, I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time (quite an unusual feeling, I have to say).
When I asked him if he didn’t notice how heavy the toilet paper was – i.e because of my brace – he said: ‘Not really, I just thought you had a runny nose or something,’
Lovely. He then proceeded to try to see if he could rescue the brace from the pipes, until I pointed out that I wasn’t going to put a bit of plastic in my mouth after it had been lodged in the sewage pipe of our downstairs toilet!
This has all set me back at least three weeks with the dentist and cost me almost £100. Fabulous.