I like to think I look like a film star, not a bonkers bag lady

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I have become hooked on internet picture collections. You know the ones: 21 most embarrassing tourist photos or 17 epic fails at the beach.

I am quite convinced I am going to turn up in one, or all, of them. I make myself examine them, wading through the adverts, just to check.

I haven’t done anything particularly embarrassing by design, it’s just when I see pictures of me it reminds me that perhaps I am not as svelte and sophisticated as I think I am.

For example, while I imagine tying up my wet hair in a scarf makes me look like a film star, in fact, it makes me look like a bag lady with questionable soundness of mind.

Luckily, so far, I have not been caught in disrespectable action.