I’ll be popping to ASDA in my gold conical Madonna bra

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Madonna is launching a fragrance next year called Truth or Dare. I’m not surprised, as that woman is such a global brand and I’m sure it’ll be top of the pops, much like she has been.

It’s a great name, too, I just hope the smell lives up to it.

Madonna’s also going to be bringing out a line of clothing and accessories for us older women.

Hooray I say, because there’s nothing I fancy more than popping to ASDA in a gold conical bra or high-legged knickers with lacy accompaniments on my wrists, ready to impress the shoppers in aisle three when I reach for the pasta.

Oh hang on, maybe the range is for older women who actually have a social life other than a weekly chat with the supermarket check-out girl.