I may as well just empty a sherbet fountain up my nose

Romantic - Saddam Hussein

CLIVE SMITH: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn about Valentine’s Day

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Welcome to spring, fellow hay fever sufferers. Like clockwork, my nose started to run and eyes streamed on my way to work on May 1.

I’ve got mixed feelings about the next two months. I love watching everything come to life as leaves bud and flowers bloom and it really is my favourite time of the year.

But as I hear grass being cut, I may as well just empty a sherbet fountain up my nose.

With this in mind, an early visit to the chemist seems to have found the right combination.

A couple of squirts of Prevalin up each nostril and a Loratadine tablet are working fine.

Better than a big lump of Vaseline under the nose.

Now that does look dodgy!