I should be buying tinned food and digging a bunker

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We’re into the third week of new year, so most people will probably have already broken their resolutions. Maybe you signed up to a gym with high hopes, but are finding it hard to fit regular exercise into your life.

I reckon there’s always a lot of fake optimism around at this time of year But the reality is that, for most of us, 2012 will follow the pattern of the previous year.

Yet this year there are at least two people who really should be buying a couple of lines on the lottery because their luck is definitely in.

First there was the story of 22-year-old Australian backpacker Erin Langworthy who bungee-jumped off a bridge at Victoria Falls, Zambia, only for the rope to break whilst she was 20 metres above the river.

If this wasn’t bad enough, the river was the fast-flowing kind and contained not only rocks, but also crocodiles.

When she’d somehow negotiated her way past these life-threatening obstacles and made it to the river bank against the odds, surely the least she could have expected was someone to perform some decent first aid.

But oh no. Instead she was put on her back so that she started choking on the water she’d inhaled.

Despite all of the above, Erin is apparently ‘bouncing’ back to health.

Shortly after hearing of this miracle escape, I learned of a 28-year-old Italian called Darco Sangermano, who was shot through the eye during new year celebrations.

He was rushed to hospital, bleeding heavily. Then, whilst waiting for doctors, he sneezed. And voila – the bullet ‘shot’ out of his nostril. Amazing.

Maybe we should all be more optimistic about what life will throw at us. But no, hang on, I forgot something.

This is the year the world is supposed to end – on December 21 to be precise.

What was I doing thinking things were going to be better, getting all sentimental about the new year?

Why am I even writing this when I should be getting the kids out into the back garden, digging a bunker and urging the missus to head for the shops to buy all the tinned food and water she can get her hands on?