I spent hours on my speech, but it went out of the window

Cunning plan to have extra ships patrol our borders

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You spend hours writing what you hope will be the perfect wedding speech.

Running through it countless times, there are so many people to thank. Toast the bridesmaids, thank my new father-in-law for his welcome to the family and, most importantly, say some wonderful things about my wife.

Gentlemen, can I recommend small index cards instead of visually-shaking sheets of A4?

But as I stood there the speech went out of the window. My first little joke got a laugh and off I went.

Then the sloppy bit and time to put my new limited French skills to the test.

‘Mon coeur t’appartient, aujourd’hui et toujours’.

Finally I could relax.