I’ve massaged them and I’ve talked to them - to no avail

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I saw in the news that there’s a potential cure for grey hair.

Ha, I can’t wait for this to come over the counter.

The vain part of me very much hopes that it will happen in time for my hair to remember what colour it is naturally.

Apparently – and I am no scientist and have only skim-read the details – our hair gets stressed and builds up a huge amount of peroxide.

This means that it effectively gets bleached from the inside out.

In an effort to de-stress my own follicles I have massaged them and lovingly talked to them. But it’s all been to no avail.

In fact, I have managed to frizz myself quite spectacularly.

Roll on the no-grey wonder drug, I say.