I was like some crazed fan as Elton walked the carpet

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STEVE CANAVAN: The case of the 'kitchen' door is open and shut

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Well I’m back in Portsmouth after my trip to the big US of A. It was amazing, absolutely brilliant. That’s not to say, however, the trip didn’t suffer a few hitches. You know me, nothing ever runs smoothly (remember last year’s Corfu holiday?).

Our first stop was LA, which was pretty incredible. I’ve been before but I was a naive 18-year-old then. Now I’m 28 (but still naive), I could see things a little more clearly, – or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

We did the LA ‘usuals’, but when we visited the Chinese Mann theatre (the hub of Hollywood), the premiere of Gnomeo & Juliet was taking place and we saw Sir Elton John walk the red carpet.

I was like some crazed fan snapping away and yelling ‘Elton, we’re British, come over here’. So not cool.

I was also surprised to see Perez Hilton (the first person to become an entertainment blogger) walk the red carpet. I’ve got a showbiz column too and no-one asks me to go on the big red rug. How very dare they!

Then came the trip to Vegas. We decided to do it in style and rent a Camaro, the same car as ‘Bumblebee’ in Transformers Two. Except I overlooked the fact that we had never driven abroad, let alone on the other side of the road and on the other side of the car.

Oh, and I also forgot the bit about driving in one of the busiest and bustling cities in the world. I couldn’t do it, I admit. No excuses.

I completely bailed and my partner Matt had to drive the entire trip – which should have taken four hours and in fact took eight.

This could be down to the fact that I’m pretty sure I saw a woman pushing her buggy down the freeway faster than we were going. Matt was, how shall I put it, being ‘cautious’.

But I couldn’t complain as I was merely the walking, talking sat nav. I also suffered an embarrassing problem.No-one tells you the road between Los Angeles and Las Vegas is a pretty much ‘loo-less’ one and I’d drunk a gallon of orange juice.

What to do? Let’s just say the back of a Camaro will never be quite the same again.