If I was locked in, I’d head for beers, wines and spirits

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Obviously there wasn’t much newsworthy going on in the world over the new year, as the story of a 73-year-old French pensioner getting locked in a supermarket made the headlines worldwide.

She was only locked in for one night! It’s not as if she’d fallen into the freezer and was found among the chicken nuggets when someone returned to do their weekly shop.

Apparently she’d gone into the toilet and when she came out everyone had left.

What the heck was she doing in there? If you’re spending that long in the toilet, then it was probably best if the place was deserted when she re-appeared!

This story hardly has the same impact as the plight of those miners trapped below ground in Chile, or the tale of a man lost in the wilderness for nine days after going on a supposedly routine hike in Canada.

If you’re in that kind of environment you’ve got issues with potential starvation, dehydration and hypothermia.

Unless of course you’re Ray Mears and can knock together a camp out of twigs and a few ferns.

Maybe you might even stumble across the odd bear or two. But what’s the worst that can happen to you in a supermarket? The humming of the air conditioning system might keep you awake.

I can think of a lot worse places to get locked in.

Apparently the lady tried to get some sleep in the offices. Don’t offices in France have phones?

And I know some other countries aren’t as strict as us about health and safety, but wouldn’t the supermarket have fire exits?

Why didn’t she head to the firework section at the front of the shop? See in the new year with a bang and then wait for the fire engines to arrive when the smoke alarms go off.

If I’m ever locked in the supermarket on New Year’s Eve, I’m heading straight for the beers, wines and spirits section. Via the crisps, sweets and mobility scooters.

But apparently this lady never even touched any of the goods!

If she’d invited her friends in for a massive new year party and they’d all gone wild in the pharmacy, then that would be news.