If I was paying, I’d want the host to have some charisma

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So who would pay all that money to have dinner with the PM? Nothing personal David (and I’m pretty sure he’d say the same about me if he even knew I existed), but I’m certainly not that bothered about having a conversation with you over a shrimp vol au vent.

One, I don’t eat shellfish, two, vol au vents stick in the gaps in my teeth and three, I think you might actually be quite dull to talk to.

If I was going to pay cash to access a dinner, I’d want it to be with someone who was charismatic – not fettered by political need.

Would David dish the dirt? I doubt it. So that leads me to contemplate which political figures I would dine with.

But as I can only afford a late-night kebab, I think it’s pretty pointless to even start that thought process.