If it’s actually true, then I want to play Erik at poker

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Those of you who watched I’m A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! this year would have seen 23-year-old Joey Essex.

Now Joey doesn’t exactly strike me as the sharpest tool in the box.

He thought the First World War ended in 1979! And he pondered whether or not stick insects were made out of wood. Really.

But if you believe a story doing the rounds, it appears there may be someone out there who makes Joey seem like the sort of person you see bossing the questions on University Challenge.

Welcome to the unlikely tale of American soldier Erik Johnson.

Apparently, Erik had been serving in Iraq and on his return home found his wife had had a baby.

The problem here? Both Erik and his wife are white and the baby was reportedly black.

Now you’d think his wife would have had some real explaining to do.

But the excuse she came up with was very simple.

She allegedly told her husband that the baby was conceived, wait for it, whilst she watched a 3D erotic film!

She maintains that she later found out she was pregnant and claims the baby looks exactly like the male lead in the film.

Erick was quoted as saying: ‘I see no reason not to believe her as these 3D films are very lifelike. With the technology of today, everything is possible.’

Look, I’m sorry but my brain just can’t compute this sort of madness if it is actually true.

Is it safe to be in this world any more if members of the military can think like this?

I tell you what, I want to play poker against this man.

I read that Erik’s other half now says she’s going to sue the cinema and the producers of the film. Good luck with that.

She went on to say: ‘Luckily, my husband believes me. It could have wrecked my marriage, but he knows I’m faithful to him.’

Hmmm. Perhaps it’s best if she takes the 3D glasses off next time hubby’s away and she fancies sitting down to watch a film.