If it’s true, then the blame lies at the feet of parents

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Apparently kids of primary school age are being treated for drink and drug problems. Some are as young as four.

Is this really true? In my experience, children that age can barely go to the toilet or have a decent bash at putting together a Lego house,

If it is the case, what on earth are the parents doing?

‘Don’t worry about your timetables this week son, we’ll crack on with the finer art of rolling a spliff.

‘Next week, if you’re good, for science I’ll show you how to put together a meth lab. Now go and fetch your dad’s Rizla, will you?’

I can imagine the school report too.

‘We’re pleased with Joe’s progress in all subjects, but where he really excels is downing pints of Strongbow,.

‘Last week he broke the 10-year-old school record set by a former geography teacher.’

During wet play at school we used to play Connect 4 and do drawings of spaceships.

Now I expect there’s a card school behind the bike sheds and the Year Threes are holding the reception kids’ Panini World Cup stickers back as collateral for unpaid debts.

I really do find it hard to believe that children as young as four are getting high on such a regular basis that they need help.

Surely someone would notice a four-year-old stumbling around and put a stop to it long before little Johnny is dispatched to The Priory.

I saw somewhere that people were blaming it on the 24-hour drinking culture.

Come on! It would have to be one hell of a fake ID for a four-year-old to walk into Tesco and buy a four-pack of Tennents Super without arousing suspicion.

Researchers say children first access drink and drugs through their parents. Yes, a heavily watered-down wine at the Christmas table, but I can’t ever remember grandma passing around the crack pipe with the After Eights.

The blame for this problem lies firmly at the feet of the parents. If a primary school age child is neglected so much they become addicts, then the parents should be locked away.