If price of fuel keeps rising, Champagne will be cheaper

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If petrol goes up any more, it’ll be cheaper to fill the car with Champagne (though probably not very good for the engine).

Prices at the pumps are hovering around a record high and likely to exceed it by the end of the month. According to the AA, fuel is now an average £136.40p a litre and filling a 50-litre tank costs £68.20.

No wonder people are using the car less often. They just can’t afford the juice.

Debate continues about the high rate of tax we pay on our petrol. But what really makes the blood boil is how profits of the big oil companies are shooting up along with prices on the forecourt.

Shell has revealed profits of £5bn for April–June, while BP made £3.2bn. Meanwhile, we have no choice but to pay up or park up.