I'll need deep pockets for revamped Thomas show '“ Kieran HowardÂ

How many toddlers want to buy window blinds? Very few, I should imagine.

Monday, 10th September 2018, 2:04 pm
Updated Monday, 10th September 2018, 3:08 pm
The 2018 series of Thomas and Friends: Big World! Big Adventures! Formerly six boys and one girl, the new team will have three girls and four boys.

And yet, slightly oddly, I've learned that YouTube Kids runs an advert for Luxaflex Window Blinds. Don't ask me why.

The children's version of the video sharing app is aimed at under-eights, but randomly advertises home improvements.

It's the equivalent of tuning into Cartoon Network and seeing a commercial for a cordless drill, lawnmower or washing machine.

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I'm now concerned Louie's going to see the blinds ad and set his heart on some new Venetians for his birthday.

I made the discovery while setting up his new Kindle Fire. Yes, I know, he's only two and we've already bought him a tablet.

We're limiting how long he spends on it, though, and the apps he can access, such as Sky Kids and CBeebies. 

He's watching the new series of Thomas '“ Big World! Big Adventures! Thomas the Tank Engine has been given a multicultural makeover.

In the new shows, Thomas travels the world meeting new characters in the process.

The multiculturalism aspect was certainly long overdue, but the creators of the show also aren't silly. Louie now informs me that he'd like many of the new trains to add to his collection.

Right then, where's my wallet?

Try rooting around in the baby bag at your own risk

I really don't envy those working on security at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard's Victory Gate, especially on a busy, sunny Saturday afternoon.

With family after family visiting the many attractions there, those manning the gate must have nightmares about the bag searches they've had to complete.

Don't get me wrong, it would probably be a piece of cake if it was simply couples or individuals going through with a small handbag here or the odd rucksack there.

When it's just one or two adults they have to contend with, I'd imagine it's a pretty easy and relatively stress-free job.

When it's mums and dads with young children, though, it must be a completely different story.

Kerrie, the kids, Nanny and 'Nandad' (Northamptonshire) and I all visited the Mary Rose at the beginning of the month.

On arrival, the grandparents strode through the luggage-check at a rather enviable pace. Of course, they had very little to declare, other than themselves.

We then followed with basically everything we own, including, but not limited to, nappies, wipes, bottles, nappy sacks, snacks, a change of clothes, muslin cloths, plasters, 'just-in-case coats', thermometers, books, toys, hats, inhalers, sunglasses, sun cream, medication...

The list really is endless when you attempt to go anywhere with children. We had four large bags in total. I've travelled lighter when going abroad.

It must have looked like we were planning on setting up camp in the dockyard.

At one point, I think the security staff had some genuine concerns that we were squatters, intent on bedding down for a few weeks.

As we crawled our way up to the ticket check-in area, I could have easily forgiven the guy on the gate if he'd sighed and muttered something under his breath at the sight of us with all our worldly possessions.

Kerrie passed him her handbag and he bravely glanced inside, before hastily returning it to her.

He then peered down at all the cases stuffed under the pram and asked if it was likely to only contain nappies and suchlike.

We gave an affirmative nod of the head and he allowed us happily on our way.

He'd been fearless with the handbag, but I don't even think he wanted to run the gauntlet of laying his hand on a used nappy or Louie's half-eaten, rotting banana.

To be honest, he was probably also questioning how we'd get it all back under there again '“ the amount of stuff we manage to take out with us defies the laws of logic.

Anyhow, Louie enjoyed the Mary Rose, even if he did think most of the wreckage was train tracks.