Is it any surprise when we don’t stick to resolutions?

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So Christmas is over for another year and the new year is almost upon us.

According to a survey, 95 per cent of us Brits will endeavour to keep some sort of resolution in 2015.

Travelling, finding a new job and reading more books have made their way on to a list of the top 10 vows.

It will come as no surprise that the most popular new year resolution for Britons will be to lose weight, while numbers two and three will be to get fit and eat healthily.

But is it any surprise when we don’t stick to our resolutions?

Why? Because it’s impossible to! Just take a look in the kitchen.

How can you possibly lose weight or eat healthily when you’ve got half a box of After Eights to finish, plus several chocolate selection boxes, tins of biscuits and a massive tub of Flying Saucers?

I lost a stone-and-a-half in the run-up to Christmas, but now the scales are scared every time they see me walking towards them.

I just don’t seemed to have stopped eating over Christmas. I’ve even started eating things I don’t actually like.

I imagine myself as a cartoon charactor, with jaws open at a ridiculous angle as food is stuffed in with a shovel.

Think Homer Simpson.

I read an article online that suggests 10 alternative new year resolutions. I scrolled down the list and one suggestion was spending more money.

That’s great, that. Let’s start throwing money about – I mean, it’s not as if we haven’t just done our bank accounts serious damage over the festive period or anything!

Number 10 was to start drinking and eating cheese and chocolate before bedtime.

Marvellous idea.

Why not spend the next year with sleep interrupted by nightmares and chronic indigestion and a hangover when you wake in the morning?

Most people have the willpower of crack addicts in a pharmacy, so new year resolutions are really a pretty big waste of time.

Last year I made two resolutions. One was to get myself a Peter Andre six-pack, the other was to teach a pig to fly.