It’s a smartphone, not something that’s going to change the world!

Where better to begin the fight against hate crime?

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So the new iPhone 6 has been unveiled at a big media event in the USA. In case you missed all the information, here are the three main things the new iPhone can do:

1. Cure hunger.

2. Bring about world peace.

3. Work out if there’s a God.

Actually, it doesn’t do any of those things. But if you meet someone who owns one in the next few weeks, then they’ll talk about it as if it does!

n Watch guru Marc Newson has become the latest world-renowned designer to join Apple. This made me hard can it actually be to design the look of a watch?

You need a strap and the bit with the watch on. That’s all, isn’t it? Or am I missing something? Unless it’s digital.

Ideally you want a watch face that has numbers on so you can tell what the time is.

Thinking about it, there are loads of watch faces that don’t actually have those these days. They just have four compass points, which is mad because I want to tell the time, I don’t need to navigate my way across the Atlantic.

Oh and by the way, the watch face needs numbers not Roman numerals. I’m not ruddy Julius Caesar. Rant over.

n I saw a magazine in a newsagent the other day called Cupcake. I kid you not.

A magazine dedicated to cupcakes. That’s just taking baking too far, isn’t it?

n Proof our children are slower than they used to be. They’ve recently had a fire at a new chemistry lab in Nottingham’s main university. This makes me think children aren’t as advanced as they used to be.

Remember how in the old days chemistry labs always used to be destroyed by children at school? Well how come they’re not clever enough to do that now?

How come they have to wait until university before they know how to destroy them without anyone realising it was them?

Kids today!

I love it when you start typing into Google and it brings up suggestions for what you might be after.

I especially love it when the suggestions are so wildly different. Here’s an example...When you type

in ‘Cara’ you get the suggested responses ‘Cara Delevingne’, the sexy, posh, hip supermodel and you

also get ‘Caravan Club.’ Slightly different! I love stuff like that. x