It’s got to be one of the most unusual reasons for closure

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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Apologies if you’ve just had your breakfast, lunch or dinner before reading this, but I was fascinated by the story of a 40-year-old man from Teeside who was found wandering the A66 in the early hours of the morning.

Why? His, erm, member had apparently been chopped off in some sort of dispute and he was desperately looking for it.

The man was said to have been in a ‘distressed’ state.

Distressed? I bet he was.

Several police officers were reportedly seen combing the grass verge as part of the search and a section of the A66 was cordoned off as the investigation continued.

It’s still unclear how the man had lost his organ.

But it surely has to be one of the most unusual reasons ever for a road closure.