It won’t be enough to feed the world

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Legend has it that I’m a little tight-fisted.

Just because I took the light bulbs out of my car before it was scrapped, I occasionally get mocked.

With that in mind, I’ve had some great news this week. It’s a revelation that will save me around £50,000 and that makes me very happy.

I have mentioned previously (and calculated) that if your child is the same age as mine (Molly is five – but 13 in attitude), then it will cost you around £47,000 to get them through university by the time they start in the year 2024.

At present, my savings collectively come to a nice round number and when I say round, I mean the roundest of them all.

To save that much money over the next 13 years before Molly goes to university equates to putting away £300 a month into savings.

For a person who is thinking about going without toothpaste to save a few quid, this figure is alarming.

Then, like a bolt out of the blue, she opened up at the dinner table and informed us that she’s not going to college or university. Instead, she wants to go straight to work as a chef, as this is a better way to learn the trade. Let me remind you, Molly is five.

I’m not sure where she’s got all of this information from. Maybe they’ve started on careers programmes at school, you know, get the little tinkers thinking about their lifestyle choices before they can tie their own shoe laces.

Sadly, Molly’s plan isn’t off to the best of starts. Genetically she’s going to be lacking for the culinary profession as neither my wife nor I are particularly proficient in the kitchen.

Once, I boiled potatoes so much that they were best enjoyed by being sucked through a straw.

My wife’s cooking repertoire is limited to say the least. She cooks a mean banana cake but her curried sardine pasta should never be seen, tasted, or mentioned in public again.

We can trace the trail of gastronomic disaster even further back than that.

This year we decided to roll up our sleeves and grow our own vegetables – could there be anything better than harvesting from one’s own land?

Knowing that the produce is fresh and grown by sunshine and rain has to be a good thing.

Also, what a great lesson to teach your kids – you don’t have to comply with the mind-bending whims of the supermarkets, stand up for yourself and grow your own.

And so we did and a carrot just fractionally larger than a one pence piece is the end result of 2011’s bountiful harvest.

Although Molly rolled her eyes and walked away, I think she’s actually quite proud of my effort.