Jez: I might need a hard hat and hi-viz vest while playing

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A recent report claimed the average dad is injured 22 times a year by his children and one in five have taken time off from work because of such an injury.

My daughter is guilty of headbutting me on a regular basis. When I bend down to pick her up she gets excited and jumps into the air and several times she has hit me under my chin, causing my teeth to slam together and me to bite my tongue.

Other injuries occur when leaving a dark house at 4.50am. My son has left his metal toy aeroplanes on the floor and when stepped on they cause agonising pain.

Another toy that causes injury is Lego – step on a little brick and you really know about it.

In future I might deploy a hard hat and reflective vest to keep me safe.