Just what is the chocolate etiquette?

Deciding which chocolate to choose from the box is bound by unwritten rules.
Deciding which chocolate to choose from the box is bound by unwritten rules.
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If you go to the barbers and your haircut costs £9, try giving the stylist a tenner and see if you can spot the almost imperceptible pause before they give you your pound change.

It’s the pause that says: ‘You are going to be giving me this pound as a tip, aren’t you? So why don’t I just hold on to it? ‘No? OK, here’s your pound change then.’ They all do it – why don’t they just charge a tenner and say it’s £9 for the hair and £1 for the chatter?

n Does anyone know what size a wood has to grow to before it becomes a forest? I’ve read that a forest is different to a wood because it’s bigger, but no-one knows just how big a wood has to get before it becomes a forest.

And how many trees do you have to plant before you have a wood? Nature needs to be more specific.

n So, doctors have claimed that skinny jeans can seriously damage a person’s muscles and nerves and cause a condition known as ‘compartment syndrome’. 

However, what they didn’t say is you can also get a rash associated with wearing 1970s-style jeans. There’s no warning. It just suddenly flares up. I thank you!

n Quick question: if someone buys you a box of chocolates as a gift, are you legally obliged to offer them one or more once the box is opened?

Because I bought a box for someone recently and she told me I could have a couple. But then she proceeded to give me a list of the chocolates that I would be allowed to take from the box because they were the ones she wasn’t bothered about or didn’t like outright. And I thought, are you allowed to do that?

Surely, if you’re going to offer someone a chocolate from your box of chocolates, you shouldn’t be allowed to stipulate which ones they can have. I mean, if you pop round to someone’s house and they offer you a biscuit from a selection, they never say: ‘Don’t have the Hobnobs because I like those.’ Can anyone clear this up for me?