Stop press, there’s some breaking news in the Howard household.
HELLO! and OK! haven’t even got a hold of this one yet, but I can exclusively reveal that number two’s on the way.
And no, I’m not talking about the latest developments in Louie’s potty training, although that is going well too
No, I’m talking babies. Or, to be more precise, baby.
It’s with great pleasure, excitement, and just a little trepidation, I can confirm we’re expecting Louie’s little brother or sister.
He or she will be making an appearance next summer.
Admittedly, there was a little moment of panic when Kerrie reminded me that having twins runs in her family.
Thankfully though, the very kind midwife at Queen Alexandra Hospital, confirmed it’s just the one.
High five to that.
I hear you by the way – we clearly learned nothing the first time round if we’re foolish enough to put ourselves through it all over again.
This will definitely be it though. No, really.
Two will be our lot.
We’ll have then done our bit for the population.
The world is speeding towards eight billion people and we’ve chipped in with two.
I know some superhumans like the idea of having enough children to make up a rugby team, but we’re content with having just enough to comprise a tennis doubles team.
Our new addition is due June 8.
I must stress it’s merely a coincidence that the due date is just six days before the World Cup kicks off in Russia.
That said, I couldn’t be more chuffed with how things have panned out.
If all goes according to schedule, I could enjoy, completely work uninterrupted, the majority of the planet’s biggest football tournament.
Big high five to that.
A combination of paternity and annual leave should open the door to three or four live games of football a day.
In the words of The A-Team’s Hannibal, I love it when a plan comes together.
Obviously I’m aware my viewing will still be slightly interrupted by feeds, vomit and some truly horrific nappies, but hopefully they’ll largely coincide with the half-time footie interval.
In any case, if I’m once again watching an under-performing England, a traumatising nappy change may well be preferable.
So, we’re now having to once again reset the countdown to when we get our lives back.
But, we can’t wait to meet our new mini house-wrecker.
OUR LOUNGE IS LIKE A TOY SHOP
Louie’s unreasonably large amount of toys could be bad for him, according to a new study.
Apparently, children who have an abundance of things to play with are more easily distracted and do not really enjoy quality playtime.
I know I’ve threatened it before, but I really am going to complete my own study one day.
It will be an equally meaningful one and will demonstrate that too many toys can also be pretty bad for parents as well.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve stubbed my toe or tripped over and nearly gone headfirst into a wall on one of his toys.
It’s like the Early Learning Centre in our living room except not quite as orderly.
If there’s a toy in the ELC catalogue we haven’t got, I’d be surprised.
We’re basically their warehouse. If you need to borrow a particular toy, we’ve probably got it in stock somewhere.
Mind you, it will most likely be missing integral components.
They’ll either be down the side of a chair, behind a radiator, in one of the dogs’ beds, or possibly a combination of all three.
This latest study is good news though, because it means I can justify getting rid of a few – rather than getting rid of the sofa and TV
cabinet just to accommodate his huge collection.