LESLEY KEATING: Want a good laugh? Try magnetic eyelashes

Lesley ended up looking like Malcolm McDowell's character Alex DeLarge in a Clockwork Orange
Lesley ended up looking like Malcolm McDowell's character Alex DeLarge in a Clockwork Orange
Verity wonders who on earth would spend �300 on a candle at House of Fraser?

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False eyelashes and me don’t get on. I look like something out of A Clockwork Orange and either get glue everywhere, or they fall off sideways. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bought sets only to chuck them away. Never learn, do I?

But the other day I thought I’d found the answer to my prayers – magnetic lashes!

Magnetic false eyelashes - fiddly doesn't cover it

Magnetic false eyelashes - fiddly doesn't cover it

According to the instructions you lay one on top of your lashes, put the other under and, bingo, they attach with tiny magnets.

Well, I’ve never laughed so much in all my life.

The sheer entertainment value of trying to line up then attach the bloomin’ things just to watch them ping off again.

Hysterically funny and worth every penny of the £15 I’d wasted on them. Highly recommended!

DON’T LET SARAH’S BROKEN WRIST SCAM CATCH YOU OUT

Everyone knows there are scammers out there who prey on vulnerable people. But, as for the rest of us, we all know a scam when we see it, don’t we? We would never get caught. Or would we?

The other day something happened to an elderly friend which a I am sharing in the hope it will prevent someone else getting caught by this particularly nasty trick.

Our friend answered a text from someone called ‘Sarah’.

As her goddaughter is called Sarah she didn’t have any reservations at all in responding when ‘Sarah’ told her she’d broken her wrist and was in hospital. She allegedly needed help as she’d nearly had run out of credit on her Pay As You Go phone but needed to make some urgent calls so please could she borrow some money?

Our lovely friend sent her £20 as instructed only to receive another text soon afterwards thanking her but saying, sadly, it was already nearly all eaten up in ‘charges’.

So, she sent her some more.

Now, before you ask, our friend is not a doddery old lady. She’s as sharp as a tack, used to using social media and very astute. She just got caught off-guard by a callous trickster.

When reported, the bank already knew of this con trick and even said ‘Oh, not Sarah again. We get this one a lot’. Sarah is apparently a popular name choice because most of us know one.

Luckily it wasn’t a lot of money. But money is not the issue here. It’s the residual effect. Our friend has since gone through every emotion from embarrassment and shame, to anger and, now, frustration that they may have helped to fund God-knows-what.

And she especially hates thinking she was specifically targeted although it was more than likely just a random number choice.

She almost certainly wasn’t the only one caught that way.

So, if you get a similar request, make absolutely sure you know exactly who the person is by asking them to confirm a few facts first.

Even if you feel a bit daft. Better safe than sorry.

I’M SO SORRY FOR ER, JUST BEING HERE

Isn’t it funny how things we say can translate very differently from other languages into English?

The other night we were having a meal in a London restaurant. I was on my way back to our table after visiting the loos but when I rounded the corner, I found the young Italian lad who worked in the kitchens was partly blocking my way while he ripped up lots of cardboard delivery boxes.

When he saw me, he gave me a lovely smile, moved all the boxes hastily to one side and politely gestured for me to pass, saying ‘Please...’

I responded with a gracious ‘thank you’ and returned his smile as I walked by, to which he then, very seriously, said...

‘Please do forgive me for my very existence.’