Lovely by the fire - until the dog decides to get in the way

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There’s nothing lovelier on a cold evening than to curl up in front of an open fire and enjoy the sight, the smell and the heat.

Except, that is, when you’ve got a dog that thinks his position is by the hearth right in front of you, the children, the husband, in fact everyone and everything.

Give him an inch and he’ll shove his great, stinking fur in it and squeeze you out of the way.

Then he pants for a bit, gets up and turns around, pants some more and jumps in fright every time the fire crackles.

Then he pushes his way out – only to return two minutes later to go through the whole ritual again.

And do you know what’s even worse than all that? The stench when he decides to break wind.