Mark my words, little Louis could end up a football star

Don't worry children, it won't hurt a bit...

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Last weekend I was round at my older sister Jo’s house for our usual family get-together.

I was flicking through the Sunday papers when my nephew Louis, who’s not even two yet, went mad as I started turning the page.

‘Football, football’ he kept shouting at me and then turned back to the double page spread of football news.

Then he grabbed his ball and started kicking it round the kitchen.

I’m telling you now Portsmouth, you have a future footie star here. Mark my words, that boy’s right kick is amazing for one so young and he is already totally obsessed with the game.

Jo’s partner, Steve, is so excited by his son’s ability that he intends to ‘nurture’ him – I think he’s already planning his retirement!