Maybe I could make money from the crispbread and lettuce diet

Broadcasting legend'''Fred Dinenage    Picture: Malcolm Wells (141209-0357) PPP-140425-154506001

RICK JACKSON: My long-term bid to become the Fred Dinenage of radio

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Iread on the cover of a glossy magazine ‘ The new diet craze that really works – I lost a stone eating take-aways’.

Yeah, right! Sounds like a right load of claptrap to me dear.

We all know that faddy diets don’t work. So I thought to myself ‘let’s have a shufti’.

But it turns out to be the 5:2 Diet, and it has become very popular with celebrity trainers.

Put simply, you can scoff what you want for five ‘feast’ days, and then over two ‘famine’ days, you eat only 600 calories.

But the famine days cannot be consecutive.

So this is the latest diet craze eh?

Well slap my thigh, I should have cashed in on the idea in 1981.

After two years of running a guest house, I was definitely a contender for Miss Piggy’s roly-poly Brit babe cousin darlings.

So when I said to hubby number two The Geordie Gent ‘I’m getting too fat’, he quipped back: ‘No, you’re getting three fat.’

So off I went and joined the local Weight Watchers class.

But I’m a fidget, with the attention span of a gnat, so all the lecturing on food and menus bored me silly.

Although, I have to admit that I did enjoy the prior 
applause section when your weight loss for that week was read out to the rest of the group.

I had to ensure that I lost 1 or 2lb of blubber a week so I could bathe in the adoration of the class and then clear off home.

By fluke, one week I’d scoffed far too much, panicked before my Weight Watchers class and only ate crispbread and lettuce leaves for two days.

I ended up losing 2lb that week, really!

So I followed that system the next week and then the following weeks and ended up losing three stone.

5:2 Diet, huh.

And yes, of course I event-ually put the weight back on folks.

That kind of faddy dieting doesn’t work in the long term, only sensible eating and exercise will do it.

But maybe when Mr Sunshine comes out to play in a few months, I might still be tempted to give the 5:2 diet a whirl.