Maybe the Mandela memorial man could help to explain

Cunning plan to have extra ships patrol our borders

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There were lots of stories coming out of Nelson Mandela’s memorial service.

My favourite by far was about the man who was doing the sign language during the speeches. Or not doing it more like!

It wasn’t long before experts realised there was something not quite right. Apparently he was signing about donkeys, lightning bolts and prawns.

Mandela did a lot of good things in his life, but none of them were related to any of these subjects.

The way the man’s arms were flying about, you’d have thought he’d be more at home using tic-tac with bookies at Fontwell or Goodwood.

Maybe he’d be able to explain that the horse I bet the Christmas savings on was actually a donkey.