Mobile chat can be so, so boring

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I’ve always loved a bit of earwigging, folks. Some of my fave funnies have come from conversations I’ve just happened to overhear.

So you’d think I’d be overjoyed with mobile phone users who yell in public.

Well, no. Because most of the banal chatter is as dull as embalming snails, dear.

‘Ello love, do you want baked beans, beans with sausages, curried beans, or spaghetti hoops for your tea?’

Aisle after supermarket aisle, you’ll find women on their mobiles talking through shelves of products with their little lovebugs.

Aarrggh. Just slap it on the plate ladies, most fellas will eat whatever’s put in front of them.

Anyway, to another one of my earwigs. I was sat in the dress circle of the Kings Theatre in Southsea at the penultimate performance of last season’s panto when I overheard a lady saying she’d been filmed for BBC 1’s Rip-Off Britain programme.

Well, ‘trunky wants a bun’ nosey me couldn’t resist leaning over the seats and politely enquiring what the programme was about.

It turns out the lady was an optometrist and the issue being discussed was ‘why are glasses so expensive in UK opticians?’

This is something I have queried for over 30 years. Especially when I’ve purchased exquisite glasses frames in Singapore and South Africa for under 20 quid.

So I was intrigued while watching Rip-Off Britain on Monday night to see Jamie Murray-Wells who set up Glasses Direct where you can buy your glasses much cheaper online.

Nice to have a choice at last, that’s what I say.

And finally...

I was at Eastney Community Centre last Friday for the launch of the 20elevenartstopcafe.

Three lovely ladies, Katrina, Joanna, and Rachel, will run the cafe, which also showcases and promotes local artists.

What I know about art can be written on a gnats’ nuts dear. But I thought their first featured artist Toni Ndikanwu’s art was fabulous.

Well worth a visit.