My new husband flies into rages and shouts at me –  Relationship advice

Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman whose husband bullies her
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman whose husband bullies her

Relationship advice from Fiona Caine, a trained counsellor

Q I met my husband four months before we married. I thought I had got to know him quite well but now everything has to be done his way and he insists that everything in the house is in the right place.

It must also be clean and tidy and if it’s not, he flies into a rage. If he doesn’t like the food I prepare or I’ve made a mistake in its preparation, he spits it out and shouts at me.

He never wants me to go out of the house unless it's with him. 

Please help me. 

A This isn't a relationship, it's emotional abuse and you need to leave.

This man may not be abusing you physically, but his behaviour is cruel and threatening.

In fact, this kind of abuse is now recognised legally.

When next he leaves for the office, pack your things and return home to your family.

Charities such as Women's Aid (womensaid.org.uk) have a free 24-hour helpline (0808 2000 247), and you can always talk to the police if you need to.

Q I have been with my boyfriend for four years and am pregnant with our second child. I live in a flat with our daughter, but my boyfriend lives with his parents.

He recently took six week contract job working away. However, when I spoke with his father recently, he said that he was planning to stay with the new job for at least three months. 

A I think there is plenty about this relationship you should be worried about.

Why is he still living at home with his parents when his growing young family is living elsewhere? Also, how can he so easily accept a job that takes him so far away from his family and not discuss it properly with you first?

Additionally, if it turns out that he is keeping the job, what does he plan to do about this family and, most importantly, supporting his children?

If he can’t or won’t accept that there is a problem, then perhaps you need to decide whether you want this relationship to continue.