I’m embarrassed to report that my nine-month-old Bengal kitty Tao has just been presented with an ASFO.
This stands for Anti-Social Feline Order, as the tiny tiger terrorist who has regularly stalked residents in the communal hallway outside my apartment has now been banned for doing a big whoopsie in a flower pot.
Yes, I know that it’s shocking behaviour from a moggie, especially a posh puss with pedigree breeding.
I’m told the pong was so atrocious that the postie needed gas and air and the poor newspaper lad has not been seen since!
I’ve now disowned the furry blighter and am having to venture outside in full disguise in an attempt to avoid a possible rant from the caretaker.