Mystery of the tangled lights

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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I don’t venture up in the loft too often, but when I do it’s normally just to put something in there that no longer warrants a place in the house but that the sentimental fool in me doesn’t want to throw away.

But in the run-up to Christmas, I had to do more than pop my head into the cold and drafty room at the top of the house.

Yes, it’s Christmas decorations time. The boxes always seem heavier than last year, but that could be down to a gathering of dust.

But I do believe there are dark forces at work during the year that want to make my life difficult.

Every year after Christmas I fold up the tree lights, nice and neatly, back into their packaging. But every year when they come back out, they seem to be tangled and in knots.

I almost threw them away as untangling seemed a challenge too big, but I got there eventually and our tree is now up, complete with flashing lights.

My next challenge is to explain to my two-year-old daughter not to eat all the chocolates hanging on the tree.