So I’m at work last week when the phone rings. It’s the missus.
‘I’ve got some news’, she said.
‘Richard Branson has been seen in Portsmouth.’
Here we go, I thought. Pompey need a new owner and the rumours start up again.
‘He’s been seen in KFC.’ Right, I suppose he had Shergar tethered outside whilst Elvis served him a Zinger Burger.
I had it all wrong though. It wasn’t Pompey he was looking to buy – it was Aqua Cars.
The billionaire was looking to spend some of his wealth on a local taxi firm.
‘It’s true,’ she insisted, ‘it’s all over Facebook.’
Next we’ll be hearing Lord Alan Sugar has put in a bid for Mick’s Monster Burger!