Next it’ll be Sir Alan bidding for Mick’s Monster Burger

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So I’m at work last week when the phone rings. It’s the missus.

‘I’ve got some news’, she said.

‘Richard Branson has been seen in Portsmouth.’

Here we go, I thought. Pompey need a new owner and the rumours start up again.

‘He’s been seen in KFC.’ Right, I suppose he had Shergar tethered outside whilst Elvis served him a Zinger Burger.

I had it all wrong though. It wasn’t Pompey he was looking to buy – it was Aqua Cars.

The billionaire was looking to spend some of his wealth on a local taxi firm.

‘It’s true,’ she insisted, ‘it’s all over Facebook.’

Next we’ll be hearing Lord Alan Sugar has put in a bid for Mick’s Monster Burger!