No finer feeling in the world than stuffing the Aussies

Still reaching for the dream of a land fit for heroes

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There is no finer feeling in the world of sport than stuffing the Aussies.

So huge congratulations to the England cricket team for retaining the Ashes with one Test still to go and giving the whole nation a lovely late

Christmas present.

Kylie and Dannii Minogue, Crocodile Dundee, Rolf

Harris, Dame Edna Everage, Rod Laver, Clive James, your boys took a hell of a beating.

If you know anybody Australian, please don’t miss the opportunity to gloat about their team’s abject surrender.

It’s your national duty.

Here’s a joke to be getting on with. I hear Australian captain Ricky Ponting asked for a Morecambe and Wise DVD for Christmas – because

it was the only way he could get his hands on a ‘little Ern’.