PPP1, PPP2 and PPP3.
No, I’m not cracking up folks, I just thought I’d tickle your little grey cells. Can you work out who I’m talking about?
PPP2, you should know by now, are the pesky pedal people (those cyclists who break the law riding on Pompey’s pavements and promenades). More on them later.
But first, PPP1 – pink pampered pooches.
It has come to my attention this week that the latest canine craze is to dye doggy pink.
Actress Emma Watson was photographed walking Darcy, her pink-dyed Maltese terrier.
Sitting on the couch on ITV’s Daybreak was dog groomer Stuart Simons, who insisted that Molly, the extremely cute Bichon Frise (or was she a poodle?), was absolutely fine after being dyed pink.
They’d used a non-toxic, safe, wash-out shampoo dye and it was done to raise awareness for breast cancer.
Well, neither Emma the TV vet, or Heidi from The Pet Care Trade Association, were convinced it was okay.
After all, does doggy look in the mirror and say: ‘Today I’m going to up my street-cred to all the other K9s by dying my fur pink?’
No. It’s the humans that want their pampered pooches to be pink and it’s yet another celebrity craze.
Not content with dressing their dogs in outfits and stuffing the poor souls into their designer bags, they want to dye them as well. Absolutely ridiculous darling.
Onto PPP2, the pesky pedal people. I promised myself I wouldn’t write another word about law-breaking cyclists.
Portsmouth City Council doesn’t care. It only puts up stupid little ‘no cycling’ signs on the litter bins on the promenade.
And Mr Plod goes down there in his uniform, which the PPPs can see from a mile off, and dismount from their bikes. Another great big cop out dear.
So that brings us to PPP3 – Palmerston Road pedestrian precinct. The new one.
Last week I was walking down the middle and nearly got hit by a car. Enough said.