Not surprising when there’s a dragon guarding the fridge

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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A website claims to have come up with calculations of the time in years and hours that different addictions can take off someone’s life.

With Portsmouth currently having one of the highest rates of alcohol dependency in the country, this is highly relevant.

Apparently alcoholics cut short their life by 23 years and heroin addicts snuff it at an average age of 38.

Smoking 20 cigarettes a day is supposed to take 10 years off your life expectancy, while doing a line of Colombian marching powder loses you 5.6 hours.

It’s not all bad news though; apparently a side effect of taking LSD is weight loss.

Not surprising really when there’s a huge dragon guarding the fridge.