Oasis, The Stone Roses – now they were real bands – Clive Smith

The Brit Awards were on the TV the other day and I can honestly say I’ve never even heard of half the acts on there.
Pink performs on stage at the Brit Awards 2019 at the O2 Arena, LondonPink performs on stage at the Brit Awards 2019 at the O2 Arena, London
Pink performs on stage at the Brit Awards 2019 at the O2 Arena, London

Not even the ones who were winning stuff. And after listening to what they had to offer I  have to say I’m quite happy about that.

I know I’m going to sound my age here, but, back in the day we had bands such the Stone Roses and Oasis,  etc.

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 We were truly spoiled in the ’90s. What on earth is this drivel being served up now?

I get generations will always look back on their era as being great for music and everything else is rubbish.

 But I just can’t see my kids looking back and thinking:  ‘Wow, George Ezra and The 1975 – what a time to be alive!’  

 

The do-gooders are out in force to bring Begum back

When you’re a 15-year-old girl the sort of mistakes you might make are blagging a PE lesson off with a fake note from your parents or stealing a couple of lipsticks from Boots.

It is not joining a terrorist group overseas.

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The usual do-gooders were out in force saying Shamima Begum she should be allowed back and that she didn’t really know what she was doing.

What rubbish, of course she did.

The way it was going I was half expecting calls for her to appear on the new £20 note.

I even saw something about her joining ISIS by accident.

Funny, since the story broke my teenage daughters have managed to go the whole time without ‘accidently’ joining Boko Haram.

Thankfully it seems the Home Office has seen sense and stripped her of her British citizenship.

Too right.

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If you join an organisation who blew up children enjoying themselves at a pop concert, should you expect to be welcomed back?

Absolutely not. She even said the Manchester Arena bombings were justified.

She also reckons: ‘People should have sympathy towards me for everything I have been through.’

Erm, not they shouldn’t. You made your bed, you lie in it. Albeit a bed in a refugee camp. See, her first two kids died from disease there and she doesn’t want the third one too. Well, maybe she should have thought about that before having a third by her yet-to-be killed-in-an-airstrike terrorist husband.

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She hates everything to do with Britain, but when times get hard she wants her home comforts. Suddenly Bethnal Green doesn’t seem all that bad after all.

And what about her offspring? During all the fallout of her potential return, her third child was born, a boy named Jarrah, apparently named after a historic Jihadi warlord. Nothing says ‘I want to come back to England’ like naming your newborn after a warlord. Can’t see any possible problems here when he grows up.

None at all.

 The ozone layer? Global warming? I’m not buying it

I see a load of kids fancied a day off school earlier this month, so they took to the streets to protest against climate change.

Maybe they can start to make change themselves. How about schools turn the heating off and all kids have to walk or cycle to school instead of mummy driving in their Chelsea Tractors?

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When I was a kid it was all about the hole in the ozone layer and we were going to get burnt to a crisp if we sprayed our Lynx Africa into the atmosphere. Then there was global warming. It’s now called climate change.

I’m just not buying it. The Earth has always gone through cycles of warming and cooling. Did the cavemen blame the dinosaurs for the Ice Age?